It happens at birthday dinners, office parties and family gatherings. You offer someone a glass of wine, and they smile and say, “No thanks, I’m not drinking.” It is a small moment, but the way you respond can make the rest of the evening feel welcoming or awkward.
Those moments are becoming more common. In August 2026, Gallup reported that the share of Americans who drink alcohol remains at a record-low 54% for the second year in a row. Among adults aged 18 to 34, Gallup’s figures show drinking falling from 58% in 2023 to 50% in 2026.
People skip alcohol for all kinds of reasons: health, faith, training goals, driving, pregnancy, medication or recovery. Some are working through a drinking problem with support groups or counseling. Others are among the people asking about GLP-1 addiction treatment after early trials drew attention to these medicines. Whatever the reason, it is theirs to share or keep private. What matters is how you respond.
Fewer People Are Drinking, So You Will Hear This More Often
Attitudes toward alcohol are shifting alongside behavior. Gallup’s 2025 poll found that, for the first time in its trend, a majority of Americans, 53%, said drinking in moderation is bad for one’s health. In 2026, the figure was 51%, essentially unchanged.
In other words, the person declining a drink is no longer an outlier. Knowing how to respond gracefully is becoming an everyday social skill, much like knowing how to write a good thank-you note.
Why the Wrong Response Stings
For people who do not drink, well-meaning comments can add up. A 2018 study by Jacobs, Conroy and Parke, published in the International Journal of Mental Health and Addiction, interviewed non-drinking first-year university students in Great Britain. The themes they described included “managing the feeling that you don’t belong,” “experiencing social exclusion,” and “experiencing peer pressure and social stigma.”
The study was small, with eight participants, so it cannot speak for everyone. But it captures something many non-drinkers recognize: the hardest part is often not saying no, but dealing with how others react.
Kind Responses That Work in Almost Any Setting
The best responses are short, warm and move the conversation along. They do not ask for a reason or make the choice into a topic. Here are a few that work well, along with why they help:
- “Sure! What can I get you instead?” This treats the choice as completely normal and gets straight to the useful part, which is making sure they have something to drink.
- “We’ve got sparkling water, soda and juice. Take your pick.” Offering specific options saves the guest from having to ask, and shows you planned for everyone.
- “Good call. I’m so glad you came.” Shifting the focus to their company reminds them that the drink was never the point of being there.
- “No problem at all.” Sometimes the kindest response is the simplest one, followed by a change of subject.
- “Thanks for letting me know.” If someone volunteers that they are in recovery, a brief, respectful acknowledgment is often all they want.
Each of these responses has the same goal: to make the person feel accepted without putting them on the spot. If they want to tell you more, they will.
Phrases Best Left Unsaid
Some common replies, even when meant playfully, can put pressure on someone. “Just one won’t hurt,” “Come on, it’s a party,” and “Are you pregnant?” all push the person to justify a private decision. Asking “Why not?” in front of a group can feel like an interrogation, and joking that they are “no fun” can make them feel exactly the sense of not belonging that the 2018 study described.
It is also worth avoiding quietly topping up a glass or handing over a drink “just in case.” For someone protecting their recovery, that can create a genuinely difficult moment.
When the Reason Is Recovery
Recovery is more common than many people realize. According to the 2024 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, as summarized by Partnership to End Addiction, 27.9 million people had an alcohol use disorder in the past year. Among adults who felt they had ever had a substance use problem, 74.3%, or 23.5 million people, considered themselves in recovery or recovered.
That means the friend declining a drink at your party may be protecting something they have worked hard for. A relaxed response is one of the simplest ways to support them.
A Note on Medication and Changing Habits
Some people are cutting back with medical help. In a phase 2 trial published in JAMA Psychiatry in 2025, Hendershot and colleagues gave semaglutide or a placebo to 48 adults with alcohol use disorder for nine weeks. Semaglutide reduced the amount of alcohol consumed in a laboratory session, as well as drinks per drinking day and weekly cravings, though it did not change the number of drinking days. The researchers treated it as an early trial, and larger studies are still needed. It is one more reason not to assume you know why someone has put their glass down.
Hosting With Everyone in Mind
Good hosting has always been about making guests feel at home. Stocking a few appealing alcohol-free drinks, offering them without fuss and keeping the focus on conversation instead of glasses all help. If you are raising a toast, a glass of anything works just as well.
Final Thoughts
“I’m not drinking” is a complete sentence. The most thoughtful response is usually the simplest: accept it, offer an alternative and carry on enjoying each other’s company. In a time when fewer people drink, that small courtesy says a lot about the kind of friend, colleague or host you are.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
1. Is it rude to ask someone why they aren’t drinking?
It is usually best not to ask, especially in front of others. People have many private reasons for not drinking, and a non-drinking student study published in 2018 found that pressure and stigma around the choice can leave people feeling excluded. If they want to share, they will.
2. What should I say if a friend tells me they are in recovery?
A short, supportive reply such as “Thanks for telling me” or “That’s great, I’m glad you’re here” is usually enough. Follow their lead on how much they want to talk about it, and make sure there is something non-alcoholic for them to drink.
3. How many Americans don’t drink alcohol?
Gallup’s 2026 poll found that 54% of U.S. adults say they drink alcohol, a record low that matches 2025. That means a substantial share of adults, around 46%, do not drink at all.
